长沙高中雅思培训
导语概要雅思培训学校提供雅思英语学习、托福课程、SAT等出国英语课程,课程最新最新优惠咨询服务。雅思培训学校是中国专业雅思学校,以质量为先”办学宗旨,坚持“知识、激情、励志”的教学理念
长沙高中雅思培训
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在多年的雅思写作教学过程中，唐老师发现众多烤鸭面临一个难解的尴尬局面：自己练习写了很多作文，但写作水平却不见实质性提升，最后考试成绩依然维持在以前的档次。这其实就涉及到作文修改的问题。唐老师的基本观点是：烤鸭写完习作后，一定要请行家修改自己的作文，指出问题及改进的办法。在这里，“行家”就显得尤其重要：如果修改仅仅发生在语言表达层面，而没有涉及思维层面，那么学生从修改里收获的进步就一定是非常有限的。为此，唐老师准备从本期开始，推出“雅思习作评改系列”，每期精选出一篇有典型意义的学生习作，并详细加以修改点评，希望读者能从唐老师的修改中得到有益的启发。本期给各位烤鸭准备的话题是关于“化学物质用于食品生产和保存的优劣势”。
题目
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
学生习作
It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessman gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people body for a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease etc. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, the may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
总体评价
评分：按照雅思写作评分标准的四个方面，唐老师给本习作的评分如下：Task response: 6.5; Coherence: 6.5; Vocabulary: 5.5; Grammar: 5.5。Overall: 6
总体评价：内容没有很大问题，相当通顺，逻辑和观点都比较清楚，但出现了一些基本的语法错误和用词错误，拉低了得分，相当遗憾！
建议：确保简单句子不出错误，用词方面一定要确保表达思想，不一定复杂。
逐句修改
第1段：It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
【唐老师修改】It has been claimed by many that there is nothing wrong using chemicals in food production and preservation. My view, however, is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh its advantages.
【唐老师点评】it has been claimed...后面应该接一个观点，但原文不是一个观点，只是一种现象。
第2段：It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmangain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
【唐老师修改】It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmen gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easy to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. Without some chemical ingredients to protect them, merchants will suffer heavy economic losses.
【唐老师点评】本段错误不多，稍微改正，感觉可以冲7分了。(1) businessman是单数，此处宜做复数；（2）vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale...中的easily是副词，这里宜用形容词easy或者vegetables and fruits easily become stale...；（3）if not adding some chemical ingredients...是非常典型的中式表达，相当于“不如不添加一些化学成分”，但其实最合适的英文表达是“without some chemical ingredients” （如果没有一些化学成分”）；（4）economic damages表达不合适，宜为economic losses.
第3段：However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people bodyfor a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains thatcannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, they may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师修改】However, there are several disadvantages of over-using chemicals. One the one hand, some chemicals cannot be resolved by digestive system, and cause harmful effects on human health. If chemicals remain in our body for a long time, they may lead to diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, chemicals also damage natural environment. For instance, some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot be resolved by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. If animals drink the water or eat the food, they may be poisoned. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers, and cause habitat destruction, which accounts for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师点评】这个段落原文共143个单词，8个句子，却出现了多达12个基本语言错误！这样的作文，就算思想再深刻，得分也不可能高于6分。（1）over-use chemicals应为over using chemicals，或者chemical over-use（把over-use当作名词使用）；（2）some of the chemicals应为some chemicals。Some of the...指某一范围内的“一些”，some...则没有限定范围；（3）digest system应为digestive system（消化系统）；（4）effects应为affect（影响）；（5）people body应为our body; （6）it应为they，这里代词指代的是前文的复数chemicals。代词使用是中国英语学习者的一个很大的难题，经常出现错误。（7）remain chemicals’ elements似乎想表达“残留的化学成分”，但完全不符合规范，不如直接说“化学物质”（chemicals），考试中不要试图去表达不会表达的内容。（8）protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects应为...protect agricultural products from being destroyed by harmful insects，或者更简洁的...protect agricultural products from harmful insects. （9）cannot resolve应为被动语态cannot be resolved。（10）they may died by those poison food应为they may die from those poisoned food，但前文提及water 和food，因而这里仅说poisoned food也不合适，因此宜改为they may be poisoned。（11）...the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers中，主语是the contaminants，谓语是pour into rivers，两者是被动关系，因此应该是...the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers。（12）...in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity中it指代不明。
第4段：In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
【唐老师修改】In conclusion, the disadvantages of chemical use in food production and preservation far outweigh the advantages. Though it helps increase profits for businesses, it may cause great dangers to our life as well as the environment. If we control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and our living conditions will also be improved.
【唐老师点评】结尾没有总结出全文观点，修改文黑体字增加了一句总结观点。最后一句中，people, we, human condition不停转换，代词游离不定，让人着急，可以统一为人称。
题目
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
学生习作
It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessman gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people body for a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease etc. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, the may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
总体评价
评分：按照雅思写作评分标准的四个方面，唐老师给本习作的评分如下：Task response: 6.5; Coherence: 6.5; Vocabulary: 5.5; Grammar: 5.5。Overall: 6
总体评价：内容没有很大问题，相当通顺，逻辑和观点都比较清楚，但出现了一些基本的语法错误和用词错误，拉低了得分，相当遗憾！
建议：确保简单句子不出错误，用词方面一定要确保表达思想，不一定复杂。
逐句修改
第1段：It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
【唐老师修改】It has been claimed by many that there is nothing wrong using chemicals in food production and preservation. My view, however, is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh its advantages.
【唐老师点评】it has been claimed...后面应该接一个观点，但原文不是一个观点，只是一种现象。
第2段：It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmangain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
【唐老师修改】It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmen gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easy to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. Without some chemical ingredients to protect them, merchants will suffer heavy economic losses.
【唐老师点评】本段错误不多，稍微改正，感觉可以冲7分了。(1) businessman是单数，此处宜做复数；（2）vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale...中的easily是副词，这里宜用形容词easy或者vegetables and fruits easily become stale...；（3）if not adding some chemical ingredients...是非常典型的中式表达，相当于“不如不添加一些化学成分”，但其实最合适的英文表达是“without some chemical ingredients” （如果没有一些化学成分”）；（4）economic damages表达不合适，宜为economic losses.
第3段：However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people bodyfor a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains thatcannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, they may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师修改】However, there are several disadvantages of over-using chemicals. One the one hand, some chemicals cannot be resolved by digestive system, and cause harmful effects on human health. If chemicals remain in our body for a long time, they may lead to diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, chemicals also damage natural environment. For instance, some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot be resolved by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. If animals drink the water or eat the food, they may be poisoned. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers, and cause habitat destruction, which accounts for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师点评】这个段落原文共143个单词，8个句子，却出现了多达12个基本语言错误！这样的作文，就算思想再深刻，得分也不可能高于6分。（1）over-use chemicals应为over using chemicals，或者chemical over-use（把over-use当作名词使用）；（2）some of the chemicals应为some chemicals。Some of the...指某一范围内的“一些”，some...则没有限定范围；（3）digest system应为digestive system（消化系统）；（4）effects应为affect（影响）；（5）people body应为our body; （6）it应为they，这里代词指代的是前文的复数chemicals。代词使用是中国英语学习者的一个很大的难题，经常出现错误。（7）remain chemicals’ elements似乎想表达“残留的化学成分”，但完全不符合规范，不如直接说“化学物质”（chemicals），考试中不要试图去表达不会表达的内容。（8）protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects应为...protect agricultural products from being destroyed by harmful insects，或者更简洁的...protect agricultural products from harmful insects. （9）cannot resolve应为被动语态cannot be resolved。（10）they may died by those poison food应为they may die from those poisoned food，但前文提及water 和food，因而这里仅说poisoned food也不合适，因此宜改为they may be poisoned。（11）...the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers中，主语是the contaminants，谓语是pour into rivers，两者是被动关系，因此应该是...the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers。（12）...in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity中it指代不明。
第4段：In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
【唐老师修改】In conclusion, the disadvantages of chemical use in food production and preservation far outweigh the advantages. Though it helps increase profits for businesses, it may cause great dangers to our life as well as the environment. If we control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and our living conditions will also be improved.
【唐老师点评】结尾没有总结出全文观点，修改文黑体字增加了一句总结观点。最后一句中，people, we, human condition不停转换，代词游离不定，让人着急，可以统一为人称。
课程简介
广州新航道小编为大家整理了关于雅思写作高分句型的相关资讯，运用这些句型为我们的写作添彩，同学们不是任何场合都可以使用这些句型的，大多数是在阐述观点或者原因的时候使用。
雅思写作高分句型分享（一）
1.We will be successful as long as we…. (只要我们……，我们就会成功的) 例如：We will be successful as long as we insist on working hard.
只要我们坚持努力工作，我们会成功的。
2.No matter + wh-从句，…, 例如：No matter how difficult English may be, you should do your best to learn it.
不管英语有多么难，你都应该尽你的努力来学它。
注意：此句型一般可以改为疑问词+ever引导的从句，+主句 例如：Whatever he asks you to do, please refuse him.
无论他让你做什么，都请拒绝他。
3.It’s useless/ no good / no use doing sth. (做……是没有用的) 例如：It’s no use crying over spilt milk.
覆水难收。
4.The reason why + 从句is that + 从句(……的原因是……) 例如：The reason why we have to grow trees is that they can supply fresh air for us.
我们必须种树的原因是它们能供应我们新鲜的空气。
5、~~~ the + ~ est + 名词 + (that) + 主词 + have ever + seen ( known/heard/had/read, etc)
~~~ the most + 形容词 + 名词 + (that) + 主词 + have ever + seen ( known/heard/had/read, etc)
Lack of interpersonal skills is one of the most serious defects that we have ever known about today’s college students.
缺乏人际交往技能是我们迄今所知的当今大学生的缺陷。
6、Nothing is + ~~~ er than to + V
Nothing is + more + 形容词 + than to + V
例句：For parents, nothing is more important than to educate children in a proper way.
没有比以一种正确方式教育孩子更重要的事情了。
7、~~~ cannot emphasize the importance of ~~~ too much.
(再怎么强调...的重要性也不为过。)
例句：We cannot emphasize the importance of protecting celebrities’ privacy too much.
我们再怎么强调保护名人隐私的也不为过。
8、There is no denying that + S + V ...(不可否认的...)
例句：There is no denying that the practicality of our higher education has gone from bad to worse.
不可否认的，我们高等教育的实用性已经每况愈下。
9、It is universally acknowledged that + 句子~~ (全世界都知道...)
例句：It is universally acknowledged that it is the doctor’s duty and obligation to heal the wounded and rescue the dying.
全世界都知道救死扶伤是医生的天职。
10、There is no doubt that + 句子~~ (毫无疑问的...)
例句：There is no doubt that the Internet is far more convenient and efficient than the written word or other conventional means of conveying meaning.
毫无疑问因特网比书面文字更方便、快捷。
更多关于雅思考试的资讯与详情，可关注广州新航道雅思频道，或咨询广州新航道在线老师。
长沙高中雅思培训
雅思口语难不难？对于中国考生来收，答案是肯定的。而国内一直流传雅思口语考官压分，很多同学更是亲身对比国内外口语考试，却是出国考试口语能提0.5分，甚至1分。那么，国内为什么会压分呢？
其实答案很简单，因为中国考生太多了，而国内传统英语考试很多都是中式思维，导致一些同学照搬这些考试技巧到雅思考试上，你一开口，老外考官就听得不是滋味，更何况一次考试他们要听很多中国考生犯千篇一律的错误。雅思口语考试到底有哪些坑不能踩呢？以下分享四个必须避开的雷区。
雷区一：使用模板，蒙头背诵
我们都知道，四六级考试有模板，按照这种思路，雅思口语考试也可以整出一些模板来，在十几年前用这种方法考试可能能够拿高分，但是现在不行了，一个是雅思官方对口语考试的要求更倾向于考核交流能力，另一个是模板用多了，大家都一样。这样必然是要被压分的。
有些同学可能没有使用模板，而是自己编了故事。编故事把信息梳理整合是复习的好办法，但是如果在考试的时候直接蒙头背诵自己被的内容，考官很容易就发现的，雅思官方明令禁止背诵，因为他们觉得这样子没法考核你的口语能力。所以，不管是使用模板还是背诵，在雅思口语考试中都是要被扣分的。
如何在雅思口语考场避免这个雷区？首先，平时练习的时候要多准本一些题材，每个话题相关的词汇都要准备；其次，学习语言组织思路，找出一条逻辑来，让自己不管遇到什么话题，都能按照自己的逻辑套路往下讲；最后，多做练习，给自己创造语言环境，用英语跟其他人交流。
雷区二：滥用词汇
雅思口语考试里面有一项标准是词汇丰富度，所以很多同学都会准备一些长词和难词，然后再回答问题的时候生硬地套用，其实，这样子非但没有加分，还会扣分，因为使用词汇的前提是准确使用。
例如，有个人跟你讲话，经常套用上古文言文，会不会造成交流障碍？而如果他很巧妙准确地使用了一个成语，是不是让你们的对话更加有趣？所以使用词汇的前提是你能准确使用，如果不能，那就用回简单词汇，先保证准确！
对于词汇丰富度，可以积累一些英语里面的地道表达，类似于中文里面的一些成员或者俚语，准确而自然地使用。
雷区三：回答过于简单，无拓展
所谓的话题终结者就是聊天的时候一句话就把对方交流沟通的热情给扑灭了。雅思口语考试中，当考官问你问题的时候，他很渴望听到你拓展更多的信息，而你回答了一个“Yes”或者“No”就没了，这样子就让谈话很尴尬。在剑桥雅思官方指南中，雅思官方指出，考生在回答问题的时候要尽量拓展，这样子考官才能更好地考量你的语言表达能力。
考过雅思的同学或许有感觉，当自己的回答不够多的时候，考官会继续问“Why”之类的，推动你继续往下回答。在备考的时候，我们也要注意这个点，学会去拓展表达，不过，拓展不是随意堆砌辞藻，而是要有逻辑地拓展。
雷区四：表情僵硬，没有眼神和肢体交流
考试的时候考生自然是会紧张的，很多人紧张的时候就面部僵硬了，像机器人一样“播报”出话来，这样子的表现也是会导致压分的。雅思官方定义雅思口语考试为一场考生和考官的自然沟通交流，需要考生像日常生活中一样跟考官交流，而不是生硬的“考试”。
为了避免这种情况，同学们需要多练习眼神交流和肢体语言交流，可以在适当的时候看着考官，在描述的时候配合一些肢体语言。在平时的时候，也可以录下自己的回答，看看自己是否自然流畅。
其实答案很简单，因为中国考生太多了，而国内传统英语考试很多都是中式思维，导致一些同学照搬这些考试技巧到雅思考试上，你一开口，老外考官就听得不是滋味，更何况一次考试他们要听很多中国考生犯千篇一律的错误。雅思口语考试到底有哪些坑不能踩呢？以下分享四个必须避开的雷区。
雷区一：使用模板，蒙头背诵
我们都知道，四六级考试有模板，按照这种思路，雅思口语考试也可以整出一些模板来，在十几年前用这种方法考试可能能够拿高分，但是现在不行了，一个是雅思官方对口语考试的要求更倾向于考核交流能力，另一个是模板用多了，大家都一样。这样必然是要被压分的。
有些同学可能没有使用模板，而是自己编了故事。编故事把信息梳理整合是复习的好办法，但是如果在考试的时候直接蒙头背诵自己被的内容，考官很容易就发现的，雅思官方明令禁止背诵，因为他们觉得这样子没法考核你的口语能力。所以，不管是使用模板还是背诵，在雅思口语考试中都是要被扣分的。
如何在雅思口语考场避免这个雷区？首先，平时练习的时候要多准本一些题材，每个话题相关的词汇都要准备；其次，学习语言组织思路，找出一条逻辑来，让自己不管遇到什么话题，都能按照自己的逻辑套路往下讲；最后，多做练习，给自己创造语言环境，用英语跟其他人交流。
雷区二：滥用词汇
雅思口语考试里面有一项标准是词汇丰富度，所以很多同学都会准备一些长词和难词，然后再回答问题的时候生硬地套用，其实，这样子非但没有加分，还会扣分，因为使用词汇的前提是准确使用。
例如，有个人跟你讲话，经常套用上古文言文，会不会造成交流障碍？而如果他很巧妙准确地使用了一个成语，是不是让你们的对话更加有趣？所以使用词汇的前提是你能准确使用，如果不能，那就用回简单词汇，先保证准确！
对于词汇丰富度，可以积累一些英语里面的地道表达，类似于中文里面的一些成员或者俚语，准确而自然地使用。
雷区三：回答过于简单，无拓展
所谓的话题终结者就是聊天的时候一句话就把对方交流沟通的热情给扑灭了。雅思口语考试中，当考官问你问题的时候，他很渴望听到你拓展更多的信息，而你回答了一个“Yes”或者“No”就没了，这样子就让谈话很尴尬。在剑桥雅思官方指南中，雅思官方指出，考生在回答问题的时候要尽量拓展，这样子考官才能更好地考量你的语言表达能力。
考过雅思的同学或许有感觉，当自己的回答不够多的时候，考官会继续问“Why”之类的，推动你继续往下回答。在备考的时候，我们也要注意这个点，学会去拓展表达，不过，拓展不是随意堆砌辞藻，而是要有逻辑地拓展。
雷区四：表情僵硬，没有眼神和肢体交流
考试的时候考生自然是会紧张的，很多人紧张的时候就面部僵硬了，像机器人一样“播报”出话来，这样子的表现也是会导致压分的。雅思官方定义雅思口语考试为一场考生和考官的自然沟通交流，需要考生像日常生活中一样跟考官交流，而不是生硬的“考试”。
为了避免这种情况，同学们需要多练习眼神交流和肢体语言交流，可以在适当的时候看着考官，在描述的时候配合一些肢体语言。在平时的时候，也可以录下自己的回答，看看自己是否自然流畅。
长沙高中雅思培训
很多时候，我们在雅思写作中想表达类似“xx度”或者“xx性”(比如：“契合度”、“匹配性”等)这样的意思。于是，我们会找一个或者造一个对等的名词或名词词组。其实，在雅思写作中，依赖这样的名词(或词组)很可能读起来蛮别扭的、蛮拧巴的。Instead，我们就干脆写明确了，读起来自然许多。
雅思7分
应对
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment.Why is this happening?
What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
这个题目。
学生写了下面这个句子(在作文的Introduction处)：
When people break the laws and get caught, they will face relevant penalty.
看起来通顺?是的。读起来通顺?没有不通顺。那有什么问题?问题如下：
首先，两个细节问题：
* break the law而不是laws，没有s才对。
* penalty可数于是应该是penalties。
其次，
* 一个意思简单信息量并不丰富的句子其实没有必要再用“状语从句+主句”的方式来写。其实，读起来拖沓。
并且，
* face relevant penalty读起来就感觉生硬呢。
* relevant其实没有必要，感人感觉，作者在强调“是对应的惩罚哟，没有乱责罚哟”。
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
The penalty for their criminal conduct may be less deterrent than it should be.
*不用定语从句修饰penalty，一是更符合习惯用法a/the penalty for something;二是避免了动词就避免了时态语态错误的可能。
* 原本由compared with构建的比较换成由than构建的比较级。
* deterrent这个词的意思是“有威慑(力)的”，是不是意思更具体更有细节?当然是更好的词汇选择。
小总结：
* 用语细节的错误，见功力，考官可不会跟我们客气，小错误不会就这么算了的。
* 信息简单的句子，能简洁就不要繁琐，no作no die。
* 形容词可能带有性质性的说明甚至一定程度的强调，当我们没有强调事物的性质的时候，慎用或者干脆不用呗，少个没必要的形容词不可惜。
更多关于雅思写作的资讯与详情，可关注广州新航道雅思频道，或咨询广州新航道在线老师。
雅思7分
应对
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment.Why is this happening?
What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
这个题目。
学生写了下面这个句子(在作文的Introduction处)：
When people break the laws and get caught, they will face relevant penalty.
看起来通顺?是的。读起来通顺?没有不通顺。那有什么问题?问题如下：
首先，两个细节问题：
* break the law而不是laws，没有s才对。
* penalty可数于是应该是penalties。
其次，
* 一个意思简单信息量并不丰富的句子其实没有必要再用“状语从句+主句”的方式来写。其实，读起来拖沓。
并且，
* face relevant penalty读起来就感觉生硬呢。
* relevant其实没有必要，感人感觉，作者在强调“是对应的惩罚哟，没有乱责罚哟”。
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
The penalty for their criminal conduct may be less deterrent than it should be.
*不用定语从句修饰penalty，一是更符合习惯用法a/the penalty for something;二是避免了动词就避免了时态语态错误的可能。
* 原本由compared with构建的比较换成由than构建的比较级。
* deterrent这个词的意思是“有威慑(力)的”，是不是意思更具体更有细节?当然是更好的词汇选择。
小总结：
* 用语细节的错误，见功力，考官可不会跟我们客气，小错误不会就这么算了的。
* 信息简单的句子，能简洁就不要繁琐，no作no die。
* 形容词可能带有性质性的说明甚至一定程度的强调，当我们没有强调事物的性质的时候，慎用或者干脆不用呗，少个没必要的形容词不可惜。
更多关于雅思写作的资讯与详情，可关注广州新航道雅思频道，或咨询广州新航道在线老师。
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课程小结
4月13日雅思大作文题目：Some people believe famous people's support for international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important.Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.
写作范文及解析
That celebrities speak for charitable (慈善的）organizations is commonplace （常见的）. Although some people worry that the attention is paid to those stars rather than the issues, the actual case is the opposite of the concern. The celebrities’ stardom （明星光环/地位） is often well utilized （使xxx发挥作用）and successfully directs people’s attention to the problems. [措辞上避开人称的讨论更显客观]
[行文：先让步讨论反方的想法] It is reasonable to have the concern that people and the media may be off-topic when they see celebrities. People, especially the fans, are likely to be curious about the stars’ personal lives and careers or interested in other things, such as their styles, and the media, especially the tabloids （报道花边新闻的小报）, often consider it as their job to find gossip. [行文：然后转折讨论反方想法的漏洞] However, it is only when celebrities make appearances as pure entertainers that the public and the media pay attention to those matters. [强调句：only when引导的（时间）条件状语被强调] People are rational （理智的） when they see the stars are ambassadors （代言人/形象大使）of charitable activities. [行文：必要时举例诠释道理] For example, when a famous actor speaks for the starving （挨饿的） children in some impoverished （贫穷的）areas of the world [注意对应题目中的international], people are more likely to find the issue serious than to find the star adorable （讨喜的）. [讨论对方漏洞的时候，其实往往也是讨论自己的立场的合理性]
As a matter of fact, famous performers and athletes [通过细化人群来换词] can direct people’s attention to the problems first because their high social status enables them to be credible and persuasive （有说服力的）. [然后细化解释] In others words, when the celebrities are concerned about the sufferings （痛苦的遭遇） and misery （悲惨）of some disadvantaged groups （弱势群体） or victims, people tend to follow them out of their faith （信任/信心）in the stars [讲清楚“为什么”]. In addition, since these charitable establishments know their jobs are serious missions, they are careful with their choice of endorsers （支持者）. They have abundant （丰富的） experience in finding the most appropriate ambassadors—stars who have few scandals （丑闻） and stars who would not create the excessive impression of amusement （n. 惹人发笑）or entertainment. As desired, people’s eye is often caught by the problems instead of the celebrities themselves.
In conclusion, it is normal that some people are concerned about the deviation （n. 偏离） of the public’s attention. However, they do not need to be [语法：省略（重复的）]. In fact, famous people's advocate （n. (公开)支持） for international aid organizations can successfully draw the attention to problems.
写作范文及解析
That celebrities speak for charitable (慈善的）organizations is commonplace （常见的）. Although some people worry that the attention is paid to those stars rather than the issues, the actual case is the opposite of the concern. The celebrities’ stardom （明星光环/地位） is often well utilized （使xxx发挥作用）and successfully directs people’s attention to the problems. [措辞上避开人称的讨论更显客观]
[行文：先让步讨论反方的想法] It is reasonable to have the concern that people and the media may be off-topic when they see celebrities. People, especially the fans, are likely to be curious about the stars’ personal lives and careers or interested in other things, such as their styles, and the media, especially the tabloids （报道花边新闻的小报）, often consider it as their job to find gossip. [行文：然后转折讨论反方想法的漏洞] However, it is only when celebrities make appearances as pure entertainers that the public and the media pay attention to those matters. [强调句：only when引导的（时间）条件状语被强调] People are rational （理智的） when they see the stars are ambassadors （代言人/形象大使）of charitable activities. [行文：必要时举例诠释道理] For example, when a famous actor speaks for the starving （挨饿的） children in some impoverished （贫穷的）areas of the world [注意对应题目中的international], people are more likely to find the issue serious than to find the star adorable （讨喜的）. [讨论对方漏洞的时候，其实往往也是讨论自己的立场的合理性]
As a matter of fact, famous performers and athletes [通过细化人群来换词] can direct people’s attention to the problems first because their high social status enables them to be credible and persuasive （有说服力的）. [然后细化解释] In others words, when the celebrities are concerned about the sufferings （痛苦的遭遇） and misery （悲惨）of some disadvantaged groups （弱势群体） or victims, people tend to follow them out of their faith （信任/信心）in the stars [讲清楚“为什么”]. In addition, since these charitable establishments know their jobs are serious missions, they are careful with their choice of endorsers （支持者）. They have abundant （丰富的） experience in finding the most appropriate ambassadors—stars who have few scandals （丑闻） and stars who would not create the excessive impression of amusement （n. 惹人发笑）or entertainment. As desired, people’s eye is often caught by the problems instead of the celebrities themselves.
In conclusion, it is normal that some people are concerned about the deviation （n. 偏离） of the public’s attention. However, they do not need to be [语法：省略（重复的）]. In fact, famous people's advocate （n. (公开)支持） for international aid organizations can successfully draw the attention to problems.
长沙高中雅思培训
很多时候，我们在雅思写作中想表达类似“xx度”或者“xx性”(比如：“契合度”、“匹配性”等)这样的意思。于是，我们会找一个或者造一个对等的名词或名词词组。其实，在雅思写作中，依赖这样的名词(或词组)很可能读起来蛮别扭的、蛮拧巴的。Instead，我们就干脆写明确了，读起来自然许多。
应对
Some people think that libraries are no longer necessary in modern society.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目。
timg (5).jpg
学生在雅思写作的开头段落里有一句写到：
This situation provokes our thoughts about the necessity of the existence of physical libraries.
这个句子好不好?当然好。但是，那里都好，只是。。。
the necessity of the existence of physical libraries 实在是一个读起来不太舒服的表达，生硬了。
这种名词化的表达适合学术写作，听起来很“概念”，却不受到雅思写作的欢迎。
如何修改后提分?
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
This situation provokes our thoughts about whether or not bricks-and-mortar libraries are necessary.
句子也不需要分解了，因为只需要把about之后的部分改成：
1、whether or not bricks-and-mortar libraries are necessary
2、另外，原句中的physical其实是对的，只是换用 bricks-and-mortar(字面意思是“砖头和砂浆”，意思是“实体的”)也许更好。
最后希望大家在雅思写作考试中取得满意的成绩。更多关于雅思写作的资讯与详情，可关注广州新航道雅思频道，或咨询广州新航道在线老师。
应对
Some people think that libraries are no longer necessary in modern society.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目。
timg (5).jpg
学生在雅思写作的开头段落里有一句写到：
This situation provokes our thoughts about the necessity of the existence of physical libraries.
这个句子好不好?当然好。但是，那里都好，只是。。。
the necessity of the existence of physical libraries 实在是一个读起来不太舒服的表达，生硬了。
这种名词化的表达适合学术写作，听起来很“概念”，却不受到雅思写作的欢迎。
如何修改后提分?
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
This situation provokes our thoughts about whether or not bricks-and-mortar libraries are necessary.
句子也不需要分解了，因为只需要把about之后的部分改成：
1、whether or not bricks-and-mortar libraries are necessary
2、另外，原句中的physical其实是对的，只是换用 bricks-and-mortar(字面意思是“砖头和砂浆”，意思是“实体的”)也许更好。
最后希望大家在雅思写作考试中取得满意的成绩。更多关于雅思写作的资讯与详情，可关注广州新航道雅思频道，或咨询广州新航道在线老师。
课程特色：
1.师资力量雄厚，各老师都拥有丰富的实践经验和教学经验，富有责任心，老师全程跟踪解决学员后顾之忧。
2. 优质的教学质量，紧紧围绕课堂教学，优化教学过程，增强教学的有效性。
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