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2019年4月13雅思大作文题目：名人支持国际救助组织是好还是坏？
Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to the problem, while others think celebrities make the problem less important.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
解析&审题
本题的关键词是“名人”和“国际救助组织”，问题是：如果名人对国际救助组织表示支持，这能让人们关注到需要救助的问题，还是转移人们的注意力？
雅思作文考题中提出的观点多半都不是那种可以简单同意或者反对的观点，往往是既有合理的成分，也有不合理的成分，这就需要烤鸭自己去分析其合理和不合理的地方，并结合自己的经历进行分析。
虽然雅思考试并不一味反对那些“一边倒”的作文，但那些能体现出“批判性思维”的作文显然更受考官的喜爱。简单地说，“批判性思维”就是能在别人肯定的观点中找出不合理的因素，而在别人否定的观点中找出合理的因素。这种写法对很多中国烤鸭来说很有挑战性，因为中国学生已经习惯于背诵被人给出的答案，而不是自己去分析思考。
本题中，我们需要回答：名人如果支持国际救助组织，这是好还是坏？可能有些同学直接就回答，这当然是好事！但如果大家再仔细想想，名人有多种多样，有些名人就是纯娱乐明星，他们来参和国际救助组织这样严肃的事情，会不会适得其反呢？另外，还有些名人根本没有实际行动，只是动动嘴皮，这样的名人加入国际救助组织，效果会怎么样呢？因此，在本题中，如果我们把“名人”进行分类讨论，那我们的结论就会与主流观点不同了，于是也就形成了“批判性思维”。
以下是唐老师的高分范文，大家可认真阅读，看老师是如何把以上思路落实到具体文字表达的。
老师笔记
01
Today, more and more famous people find themselves in international aid campaigns. Some people believe it is certainly good to the aid programs, while others argue that it actually makes the general public less attentive to the campaigns themselves. To my mind, celebrities can be of great help to such campaigns.
今天，越来越多的名人参加国际援助活动。一些人认为这对援助计划无疑是有益的，而另一些人则认为这实际上会降低公众对援助活动的关注度。在我看来，名人对这类活动有很大帮助。
解析
（1）先提出话题（名人参加国际援助活动），然后重述题目观点，并给出自己的观点。
（2）Be attentive to… 关注……
（3）To my mind 在我看来
（4）Celebrity 名人
02
Obviously, international charity groups can take advantage of the publicity of those famous people. They can draw more media attention and make more people recognize the importance of a certain issue. For this reason, with celebrities cutting in, the international aid organizations can publicize their programs more effectively. At the same time, the viewing public, especially fans, will answer the appeal of their favorite stars and take concrete action such as donating money to help deal with problems in other countries.
显然，国际慈善团体可以利用这些名人的曝光度。它们可以吸引更多的媒体关注，使更多的人认识到某个问题的重要性。因此，随着名人的加入，国际援助组织可以更有效地宣传他们的项目。同时，观众，尤其是粉丝，也会回应他们最喜爱的明星的号召，采取具体行动，如捐钱帮助解决其他国家的问题。
解析
（1）本段论述名人加入救助组织的好处：增加曝光度，利用名人的影响来影响大众。
（2）Charity 慈善
（3）Take advantage of 利用
（4）Draw media attention 吸引媒体关注
（5）For this reason 因此
（6）Cut in 切入
（7）Appeal 号召
（8）Take concrete action 采取实际行动
（9）Donate 捐献
03
Nevertheless, the involvement of famous stars in aid campaigns is not always helpful. We have seen many cases in which the public forget all about the people in need when they are cheering for their stars. Indeed, some entertainment stars can make the aid campaigns less serious than they are supposed to be. Besides, some irresponsible celebrities could even arouse negative attitudes of the public. What effect can it bring about when a celebrity asks people to give aid to the poverty-stricken children while he lives a luxurious life without giving away a dollar himself?
然而，明星参与援助活动并不总是有益的。我们看到过许多这样的情况：当人们为他们的明星欢呼时，他们会全然忘记那些需要帮助的人。事实上，一些娱乐明星可能使援助活动没有了理应的那份严肃。此外，一些不负责任的名人甚至可能引起公众的负面态度。当一个名人要求人们帮助贫困儿童，而他自己却生活也不捐献一分钱的时候，会产生什么效果呢？
解析
（1）本段主要论述名人参加救助活动可能带来的负面影响，注意这里共讨论了三种情况：人们见到明星忘记了“初心”；娱乐明星让救助活动显得不甚严肃；不负责任的明星甚至带来负面影响。
（2）Involvement 参与；卷入
（3）People in need 贫穷的人；需要帮助的人
（4）Entertainment stars 娱乐明星
（5）Be supposed to do… 应该做……
（6）Poverty-stricken 贫穷的
（7）Luxurious 的
（8）Give away 捐献
04
In my view, although celebrities participating in aid programs may bring some undesirable influences, I believe they are more useful than negative. Of course, the famous people, in order to set a positive example for the general public who love them, should make sincere efforts to help those people in need rather than just pay lip services.
在我看来，虽然参加援助计划的名人可能会带来一些不良影响，但我相信他们的用处要大于消极之处。当然，为了给爱他们的大众树立一个积极的榜样，名人应该真诚地努力帮助那些需要帮助的人，而不仅仅是口头说说。
解析
（1）总结前面的主要观点，并提出建议。
（2）Participate in 参加
（3）Undesirable 不良的，不好的
（4）Set an example for… 为……树立榜样
（5）Pay lip services 口头说说
7分范文
Today, more and more famous people find themselves in international aid campaigns. Some people believe it is certainly good to the aid programs, while others argue that it actually makes the general public less attentive to the campaigns themselves. To my mind, celebrities can be of great help to such campaigns.
Obviously, international charity groups can take advantage of the publicity of those famous people. They can draw more media attention and make more people recognize the importance of a certain issue. For this reason, with celebrities cutting in, the international aid organizations can publicize their programs more effectively. At the same time, the viewing public, especially fans, will answer the appeal of their favorite stars and take concrete action such as donating money to help deal with problems in other countries.
Nevertheless, the involvement of famous stars in aid campaigns is not always helpful. We have seen many cases in which the public forget all about the people in need when they are cheering for their stars. Indeed, some entertainment stars can make the aid campaigns less serious than they are supposed to be. Besides, some irresponsible celebrities could even arouse negative attitudes of the public. What effect can it bring about when a celebrity asks people to give aid to the poverty-stricken children while he lives a luxurious life without giving away a dollar himself?
In my view, although celebrities participating in aid programs may bring some undesirable influences, I believe they are more useful than negative. Of course, the famous people, in order to set a positive example for the general public who love them, should make sincere efforts to help those people in need rather than just pay lip services.
（284 words）
建议背诵的句子
1. Some people believe it is certainly good to the aid programs, while others argue that it actually makes the general public less attentive to the campaigns themselves.
一些人认为这对援助计划无疑是有益的，而另一些人则认为这实际上会降低公众对援助活动的关注度。
2. For this reason, with celebrities cutting in, the international aid organizations can publicize their programs more effectively.
因此，随着名人的加入，国际援助组织可以更有效地宣传他们的项目。
3. We have seen many cases in which the public forget all about the people in need when they are cheering for their stars.
我们看到过许多这样的情况：当人们为他们的明星欢呼时，他们会全然忘记那些需要帮助的人。
4. What effect can it bring about when a celebrity asks people to give aid to the poverty-stricken children while he lives a luxurious life without giving away a dollar himself?
当一个名人要求人们帮助贫困儿童，而他自己却生活也不捐献一分钱的时候，会产生什么效果呢？
5. Of course, the famous people, in order to set a positive example for the general public who love them, should make sincere efforts to help those people in need rather than just pay lip services.
当然，为了给爱他们的大众树立一个积极的榜样，名人应该真诚地努力帮助那些需要帮助的人，而不仅仅是口头说说。
在多年的雅思写作教学过程中，唐老师发现众多烤鸭面临一个难解的尴尬局面：自己练习写了很多作文，但写作水平却不见实质性提升，最后考试成绩依然维持在以前的档次。这其实就涉及到作文修改的问题。唐老师的基本观点是：烤鸭写完习作后，一定要请行家修改自己的作文，指出问题及改进的办法。在这里，“行家”就显得尤其重要：如果修改仅仅发生在语言表达层面，而没有涉及思维层面，那么学生从修改里收获的进步就一定是非常有限的。为此，唐老师准备从本期开始，推出“雅思习作评改系列”，每期精选出一篇有典型意义的学生习作，并详细加以修改点评，希望读者能从唐老师的修改中得到有益的启发。本期给各位烤鸭准备的话题是关于“化学物质用于食品生产和保存的优劣势”。
题目
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
学生习作
It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessman gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people body for a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease etc. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, the may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
总体评价
评分：按照雅思写作评分标准的四个方面，唐老师给本习作的评分如下：Task response: 6.5; Coherence: 6.5; Vocabulary: 5.5; Grammar: 5.5。Overall: 6
总体评价：内容没有很大问题，相当通顺，逻辑和观点都比较清楚，但出现了一些基本的语法错误和用词错误，拉低了得分，相当遗憾！
建议：确保简单句子不出错误，用词方面一定要确保表达思想，不一定复杂。
逐句修改
第1段：It has been claimed that people use several chemicals in the process of production and preservation. My view is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh the advantages.
【唐老师修改】It has been claimed by many that there is nothing wrong using chemicals in food production and preservation. My view, however, is that the disadvantages of using chemicals far outweigh its advantages.
【唐老师点评】it has been claimed...后面应该接一个观点，但原文不是一个观点，只是一种现象。
第2段：It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmangain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. If not adding some chemicals ingredients to protect food, merchants will suffer great economic damages.
【唐老师修改】It cannot be denied that people are more likely to use chemicals as a way to extend the time of food preservation, because it can help businessmen gain more profits. For example, some agricultural products like vegetables and fruits are easy to become stale when they experience long-term transportation. Without some chemical ingredients to protect them, merchants will suffer heavy economic losses.
【唐老师点评】本段错误不多，稍微改正，感觉可以冲7分了。(1) businessman是单数，此处宜做复数；（2）vegetables and fruits are easily to become stale...中的easily是副词，这里宜用形容词easy或者vegetables and fruits easily become stale...；（3）if not adding some chemical ingredients...是非常典型的中式表达，相当于“不如不添加一些化学成分”，但其实最合适的英文表达是“without some chemical ingredients” （如果没有一些化学成分”）；（4）economic damages表达不合适，宜为economic losses.
第3段：However, there are several disadvantages of over-use chemicals. One the one hand, some of the chemicals ingredients cannot be resoled by digest system, which could effects human health. If chemicals remain in people bodyfor a long time, it may cause diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, remain chemicals’ elements also damage natural environment. Some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects. However, the remains thatcannot resole by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. To a large extent, if animal drink the water or eat the food, they may died by those poison food. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers, also cause habitat destruction, in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师修改】However, there are several disadvantages of over-using chemicals. One the one hand, some chemicals cannot be resolved by digestive system, and cause harmful effects on human health. If chemicals remain in our body for a long time, they may lead to diseases like cardiovascular, stomachache or lung disease. One the other hand, chemicals also damage natural environment. For instance, some farmers use pesticides to protect agricultural products from harmful insects. However, the remains that cannot be resolved by ecosystem may pollute surrounding water and soil. If animals drink the water or eat the food, they may be poisoned. What’s more, in the process of producing food, the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers, and cause habitat destruction, which accounts for the loss of biodiversity.
【唐老师点评】这个段落原文共143个单词，8个句子，却出现了多达12个基本语言错误！这样的作文，就算思想再深刻，得分也不可能高于6分。（1）over-use chemicals应为over using chemicals，或者chemical over-use（把over-use当作名词使用）；（2）some of the chemicals应为some chemicals。Some of the...指某一范围内的“一些”，some...则没有限定范围；（3）digest system应为digestive system（消化系统）；（4）effects应为affect（影响）；（5）people body应为our body; （6）it应为they，这里代词指代的是前文的复数chemicals。代词使用是中国英语学习者的一个很大的难题，经常出现错误。（7）remain chemicals’ elements似乎想表达“残留的化学成分”，但完全不符合规范，不如直接说“化学物质”（chemicals），考试中不要试图去表达不会表达的内容。（8）protect agricultural products from destroying by harmful insects应为...protect agricultural products from being destroyed by harmful insects，或者更简洁的...protect agricultural products from harmful insects. （9）cannot resolve应为被动语态cannot be resolved。（10）they may died by those poison food应为they may die from those poisoned food，但前文提及water 和food，因而这里仅说poisoned food也不合适，因此宜改为they may be poisoned。（11）...the contaminants that are made by factories directly pour into rivers中，主语是the contaminants，谓语是pour into rivers，两者是被动关系，因此应该是...the contaminants made by factories are directly poured into rivers。（12）...in this way, it account for the loss of biodiversity中it指代不明。
第4段：In conclusion, my view is that the disadvantages of this trend far outweigh advantages. If people control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and also can enhance the human condition.
【唐老师修改】In conclusion, the disadvantages of chemical use in food production and preservation far outweigh the advantages. Though it helps increase profits for businesses, it may cause great dangers to our life as well as the environment. If we control the use of chemicals, we will become healthier and our living conditions will also be improved.
【唐老师点评】结尾没有总结出全文观点，修改文黑体字增加了一句总结观点。最后一句中，people, we, human condition不停转换，代词游离不定，让人着急，可以统一为人称。
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